May Jotting ~2007 - Something to Think About
I recently came across this quote: “Don’t be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can’t cross a chasm in two small jumps.” (David Lloyd George) Thinking about these wise words has caused me to recognize some of the ways we try to cross a chasm in two small jumps. Let’s start with this one. How many times do we put off making an uncomfortable decision. Usually the decision involves saying “no” to someone whose feelings we are afraid we will hurt!
On a recent Oprah show, members of the audience were asking questions of a guest psychologist. One young woman said, “My husband and I have only been married a few months. Our families seem to think we should spend our evenings with them. We’ve made up reasons and excuses, but they just don’t get it that we want to have time together in our new life. What can we do?” What would your answer be? My answer would be this: “You are trying to cross a chasm in small jumps. Tell your family, lovingly, but firmly, that you and your husband need time to be together. Perhaps you can set up a flexible schedule for being with your families. But take the big step of claiming your right as adults to shape your own life.”
Another way we try to cross a chasm in small jumps is in regard to “quitting” something. Whether it is smoking, overeating, drinking, worrying, complaining… whatever it is that we want to “quit” requires a big step if we are to be successful. Often we try to “quit” by doing less of whatever it is or by doing a “healthier” version of whatever it is. Suppose I habitually eat a big bowl of ice cream every night before bed. Suppose I want to quit this habit, but instead of quitting (taking the big step) I change to sugar free ice cream (taking small jumps). It may (or may not) be healthier, but the “need” that I satisfy with ice cream has not been addressed.
Sometimes taking the big step means being truthful with myself or others beyond what I am comfortable with. It may mean being truthful with myself about what I say I want, but am not willing to “go for” full out. Maybe I need to admit, “I’d love to be more slender, but I’m not willing to change my eating patterns.” Notice the use of the word “willing” here. That’s the crux of the matter when it comes to chasm crossing. Who am I willing to be? In her book, “Mastering Life’s Energies,” Marie Nemeth writes, “Your most power gift is your capacity to be willing.” She calls the words “I am willing” the most potent of all affirmations.
Being willing makes taking the big step possible. It is saying “yes” in the grandest way.
“For all that has been: Thank you!
For all that is yet to be: Yes!”
Dag Hammarskjold
jbm
On a recent Oprah show, members of the audience were asking questions of a guest psychologist. One young woman said, “My husband and I have only been married a few months. Our families seem to think we should spend our evenings with them. We’ve made up reasons and excuses, but they just don’t get it that we want to have time together in our new life. What can we do?” What would your answer be? My answer would be this: “You are trying to cross a chasm in small jumps. Tell your family, lovingly, but firmly, that you and your husband need time to be together. Perhaps you can set up a flexible schedule for being with your families. But take the big step of claiming your right as adults to shape your own life.”
Another way we try to cross a chasm in small jumps is in regard to “quitting” something. Whether it is smoking, overeating, drinking, worrying, complaining… whatever it is that we want to “quit” requires a big step if we are to be successful. Often we try to “quit” by doing less of whatever it is or by doing a “healthier” version of whatever it is. Suppose I habitually eat a big bowl of ice cream every night before bed. Suppose I want to quit this habit, but instead of quitting (taking the big step) I change to sugar free ice cream (taking small jumps). It may (or may not) be healthier, but the “need” that I satisfy with ice cream has not been addressed.
Sometimes taking the big step means being truthful with myself or others beyond what I am comfortable with. It may mean being truthful with myself about what I say I want, but am not willing to “go for” full out. Maybe I need to admit, “I’d love to be more slender, but I’m not willing to change my eating patterns.” Notice the use of the word “willing” here. That’s the crux of the matter when it comes to chasm crossing. Who am I willing to be? In her book, “Mastering Life’s Energies,” Marie Nemeth writes, “Your most power gift is your capacity to be willing.” She calls the words “I am willing” the most potent of all affirmations.
Being willing makes taking the big step possible. It is saying “yes” in the grandest way.
“For all that has been: Thank you!
For all that is yet to be: Yes!”
Dag Hammarskjold
jbm
