January 2007 ~ Something to Think About
“The way to peace of mind is to finish everything you start.” Dr. Phil is credited with this bit of wisdom. And while, at first glance, it may not sound all that profound, I have found it to be very good advice. During the two years that I have been retired, I have devoted significant time and energy to “unfinished business,” or “finishing things I started.” I find this work interesting, surprising, sometimes difficult, and always freeing.
Unfinished business tends to fall into three basic categories: relationships, personal maintenance, and creative projects. Most of us know about unfinished business in regard to relationships. Sometimes it involves unspoken gratitude and appreciation, actually writing those “thank you” notes that we so often think about. More often it involves misunderstandings and resentments that have been allowed to linger. The “finishing” work usually requires communication on some level and a liberal application of forgiveness. For me forgiveness boils down to giving everyone safe passage through my mental and emotional world. It doesn’t mean I want to be “buddies,” but it does mean I have stopped defining myself and the other person by whatever happened in the past. Each of us is free to move forward.
Personal maintenance is a broader area. It may include diet and exercise, spiritual practice, self identity, and esteem. It may include education, formal and informal, and financial and career responsibility. How many New Year’s resolutions have I made about these things, resolutions that soon relapsed into whatever caused me to make the resolution in the first place? Finishing what I start here begins with taking a hard look at the promises I make to myself, before I make them. Asking myself: Why am I making this promise? What do I really want? How will my life be better if I follow through? How will I feel if I don’t? Am I willing to pay the price? Being honest with myself and taking authentic action out of that honesty may or may not lead me to change. Either way, it brings closure to what was before and clears the way for something new.
As I prepared for retirement I accumulated a “project drawer” of kits, materials, books, and plans for creative things I would do when I had more personal time. To my amazement, I found, when I did retire, that I did not have an interest for most of what was in the drawer. How to finish what I had started? Again, by being honest with myself and letting it be acceptable to not want to do those projects, letting it be acceptable to give things away… to children, to schools, and the Hospice Thrift Store!
I was well into my life before I allowed myself to read only part of a book. I have finally learned that finishing a book or a project may mean actually completing it; it may mean deciding not to complete it and to give it away; it may mean to make a new decision about starting it! Not every book needs to be read from beginning to end in order to be enjoyed. Some books are so enjoyable that they need to read again and again! Fortunately, I have learned to recognize which is which.
Going through life feeling burdened with unfinished business is mentally, emotionally, and physically tiring and forever keeps us looking in the rearview mirror. A new year is a good time to begin something new, and it is a wonderful time to finish what we have already started. I like to affirm:
Releasing all that no longer serves me, I am free to live joyfully and abundantly!
Thanks, Dr. Phil for giving us something to think about.
jbm
Unfinished business tends to fall into three basic categories: relationships, personal maintenance, and creative projects. Most of us know about unfinished business in regard to relationships. Sometimes it involves unspoken gratitude and appreciation, actually writing those “thank you” notes that we so often think about. More often it involves misunderstandings and resentments that have been allowed to linger. The “finishing” work usually requires communication on some level and a liberal application of forgiveness. For me forgiveness boils down to giving everyone safe passage through my mental and emotional world. It doesn’t mean I want to be “buddies,” but it does mean I have stopped defining myself and the other person by whatever happened in the past. Each of us is free to move forward.
Personal maintenance is a broader area. It may include diet and exercise, spiritual practice, self identity, and esteem. It may include education, formal and informal, and financial and career responsibility. How many New Year’s resolutions have I made about these things, resolutions that soon relapsed into whatever caused me to make the resolution in the first place? Finishing what I start here begins with taking a hard look at the promises I make to myself, before I make them. Asking myself: Why am I making this promise? What do I really want? How will my life be better if I follow through? How will I feel if I don’t? Am I willing to pay the price? Being honest with myself and taking authentic action out of that honesty may or may not lead me to change. Either way, it brings closure to what was before and clears the way for something new.
As I prepared for retirement I accumulated a “project drawer” of kits, materials, books, and plans for creative things I would do when I had more personal time. To my amazement, I found, when I did retire, that I did not have an interest for most of what was in the drawer. How to finish what I had started? Again, by being honest with myself and letting it be acceptable to not want to do those projects, letting it be acceptable to give things away… to children, to schools, and the Hospice Thrift Store!
I was well into my life before I allowed myself to read only part of a book. I have finally learned that finishing a book or a project may mean actually completing it; it may mean deciding not to complete it and to give it away; it may mean to make a new decision about starting it! Not every book needs to be read from beginning to end in order to be enjoyed. Some books are so enjoyable that they need to read again and again! Fortunately, I have learned to recognize which is which.
Going through life feeling burdened with unfinished business is mentally, emotionally, and physically tiring and forever keeps us looking in the rearview mirror. A new year is a good time to begin something new, and it is a wonderful time to finish what we have already started. I like to affirm:
Releasing all that no longer serves me, I am free to live joyfully and abundantly!
Thanks, Dr. Phil for giving us something to think about.
jbm
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